Not knowing is the first step for a warrior.
When we think life is going our way, we enjoy things; our music, movies, friends, social life etc. But we don't really enjoy them, we are addicted to them. They are distractions to avoid the chaos of our inner world, the parade of regrets, anxieties, and fantasies we call the mind. These aspects of our ego such as our image, music, attitude are a daily practice for us to seek a sense of self. The second those are questioned, not attainable in any way, we feel out of sorts. In our habitual quest for achievement and entertainment, we avoid the fundamental source of our suffering. Nearly all of humanity shares this predicament. If you don't get what you want, you suffer, but then when you get exactly what you wanted you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is a predicament and the task is to live outside of the mind. The mind wants to be free of change,free of pain, free of obligations of life and death. But change is law, and no amount of pretending will alter that reality. Life is not suffering, it's just that you will suffer it, rather than enjoy it until you let go of your minds attachments and enjoy the ride freely, no matter what happens.
The mind has no positive uses. The mind is an illusory reflection of cerebral fidgeting. It comprises all the random, uncontrolled thoughts that bubble into awareness from the subconscious. Consciousness is not mind, awareness is not mind, attention is not mind. Mind is an obstruction, an aggravation.It is a kind of evolutionary mistake in the human being, a primal weakness in the human experiment. I have no use for the mind. My strength comes from letting go, going with the flow and connecting with the void. When we understand our own impermanence, all of life is perfectly where it should be. And accepting this and always being thankful for it is developing a true faith. The brain on the other hand can be a tool, it can recall phone numbers, function the body, create beautiful art and poetry. In this way it works for the rest of the body like a tractor. But when you can't stop thinking of that math problem or phone number, or when troubling thoughts and memories arise without your intent or control its not your brain working, its your mind wandering. Then the mind controls you, and then the tractor runs wild. To really get all of this you must observe yourself to see what I mean. You have an angry thought bubble up and you become angry. You have a sad thought bubble up and you become sad. Its the same with all the emotions. They're your auto pilot response to thoughts you can't control.
"Iron is full of impurities that weaken it, through forging it becomes steel and is transformed into a razor- sharp sword. Human beings develop in the same fashion."- Morihei Ueshiba
The mind is conditioned so well that we will go back to the same things even if they harm us for the sake of comfort. Living to our fullest, living boldly and with virtue is not following the programming that has overwhelmed and abused the senses. All of our morals, our understanding is manipulated and distorted by controlling sources. We all manufacture our own dust and static which serve to interfere with seeing, hearing and experiencing life. This self imposed interference keeps us stuck in an old belief system that we use repeatedly, even though it doesn't get us where we want to be. We become slaves to our tendencies and walk a narrow road. We may feel ourselves moving forward each day but motion does not always mean progress, change does not always mean evolution, and if you do not accept yourself in your current state you will never live up to the possibilities of your unfolding.
"If you make a string on an instrument too loose it will not play, and if you make it too tight it will snap, the music is found in a balance between both extremes as is all harmony."- Buddha
" Think with your whole body" -Taisen Deshimaru
Why, with the unlimited potential we possess do we create our days the same way each waking morning? Why do some people get upset about one thing and others won't be phased by the same event? Why do we attach to repetitive experiences? Repetitive experiences being processed into the subconscious cause neurons (nerve cells) and synapses ( junction between neurons) to form what is called a neuronet. The more an experience is practiced the stronger the neuronet becomes and is hardwired to the point where our responses are no longer consciously taking place; we are on auto pilot so to speak. The brain does not know the difference between what is sees and what it remembers so reality is constantly taking place in the brain, stressing and taxing the body.
Nerve cells that fire together wire together. We bring to ourselves situations that fill the biochemical craving of the cells in the body by creating situations that meet our chemical needs. This is why an angry person will find and create circumstances that bring them their bio-chemical need, same with sad and happy people. What floods our body is called a peptide, and we create peptides for every emotion; this makes you think about the term addiction defined by the inability to stop. Our inability to change, is the inability to stop doing exactly what we are doing- further hard wiring ourselves to the conditioning of the world to solidify the things that make us happy, sad and so on, never experiencing more in life.
We aren't actually living through choice, we are responding to life in accordance with how we have been trained to be. But we can't escape responsibility. Our choices will catch up with us; poor diet will cause bad health and premature death, our intolerance for others in the world will waste the body from miserable thoughts making us unhappy with ourselves. The only things we feel about the world are based on thoughts and feelings inside of us, we have to identify with them first before we project them unto others and events. Our pursuit for knowledge and self expansion will be fruitless if we base it on conceptual knowledge only.
We all respond to life in many ways; life is a series of responses. We respond to the alarm clock, and then the hunger to eat breakfast. The rest of the day is spent responding to others, to sounds, written word, odors, feelings and all the activities that go into making up our world. Harry Truman had a sign on his desk that read " The buck stops here"; he didn't coin the phrase it had been around for years. The point of it is, it is far easier and less damaging to our ego to find a scapegoat for our failures, big and small. There is no success no height of living without self accountability, without the hardships of learning through error. The hard fact is that each of us are where we are socially, financially, emotionally, mentally, physically because of our own thinking processes up to this point. Most which are influenced and aligned with unlimited wealth behind lobbying and advertising. What we will be in the future will be determined by our own mental activity now. If our thinking process doesn't change significantly, neither will our life and life style.
We all have an inner knowing, an instinctual programming deep within that is overwhelmed with distractions. Our cup is constantly overflowing and we can't keep any information in or retrieve what we know deep within. Our attachment to the world that has been programmed for us shows when we are hostile and uncomfortable in new situations or trying new things. If our way of life was absolute for us nothing could disturb our peace, but the exact opposite occurs.
No matter what we think about ourselves, the world or beyond, we will never know all that there is and we should do our best to create a life for ourselves that works. The task is never to know it all, or to feel right. And often most of our time is spent trying to please ourselves moment by moment. If we can stop worrying about the state of our emotional mind we can free ourselves to truly enjoy where we stand in a way that is not dependent on external circumstances. Besides our name given to us, we are in a constant state of change and growth always transient. You cannot not give name and solidity to something always moving. We are beyond what we identify as ourselves, we are composed of all that is and all that isn't. When we stop trying to be somebody, and stop trying to do something, we will be. Simply be.
